To whom do we complain?

Diy: this reaaaaaally opened up my eyes. i think i complain too much. alamak.
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The ignorant among us complain to people about Allah, and this is the highest degree of ignorance. If one knew his Lord, he would never complain about Him; and if knew the (reality of) people, he would not complain to them.

One of the predecessors saw a man complaining to another man about his poverty and dire necessity, so he said to him, “O you! By Allah, you have done nothing but complain about He who has mercy for you, to someone who has no mercy for you.”

A poet said: When you complain to a son of Adam, verily you complain about the Most Merciful, to the one who does not have any pity.

On the contrary, a person who is profoundly knowledgeable about Allah complains to Allah alone, and never to the people. He complains about the causes because he knows the verses:

“And whatever of misfortune befalls you it is because of what your hands have earned. And He pardons much.” (Qur’an, 42:30)

“Whatever of good reaches you, is from Allah but whatever of evil befalls you, is from yourself.” (Qur’an, 4:79)

“(What is the matter with you?) When a single disaster smites you, although you smote (your enemies) with one twice as great, you say: ‘From where does this come to us?’ Say (to them), ‘It is from yourselves (because of your evil deeds).’ And Allah has power over all things.” (Qur’an, 3:165)

The lowest of people complain about Allah to His creatures, while the highest of people complain about their own-selves to Allah.

To Kill a Mocking Tongue

Al-Ma'roor ibn Suwayd narrates that he once saw Abu Dharr – radi Allaahu ‘anhu – wearing a beautiful shawl. His slave standing next to him was wearing a shawl exactly like it, warm and beautiful.

Ma'roor said to Abu Dharr,“Perhaps you could take the shawl of your servant and give him another (less expensive) one.”

“Never,” said Abu Dharr, “for I once had a servant whose mother was not Arab and I cussed him and his mother. That servant went to the Messenger of Allah – sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam – complaining of the words I had said.

“When Rasul Allaah – sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam – saw me he commented, ‘O Abu Dharr, you are a man who still has Jahilliyyah (Pre-Islamic Ignorance) in him.'”

Because of these painful words, Abu Dharr – may Allah be pleased with him - would always dress his servants in the exact same garments that he would wear.

Dear brothers and sisters, Allah is disobeyed most with our tongues. There is a sin that sweeps amongst us, a sin that many take lightly, a sin that is laughed at, a sin that could very well pull someone to Hellfire: It is the sin of insulting others.

Read carefully this following verse. It is a commandment of Allah that begins with a call to those who claim to have Eemaan. Allah ta'ala says in the Qur'an (49/11):

O you who believe let not one group of people make fun of another, perhaps the (one's being made fun of) are better then them. And let not women make fun of other women perhaps the (woman being made fun of) is better then them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by (offensive) nicknames. Wretched is the name (i.e. mention) of disobedience after (one's) faith. And whoever does not repent – then it is those who are the Dhaalimoon (the wrongdoers).

Perhaps the one that is being made fun of is more beloved to Allah. Subhaan Allah, let us remember this if we ever try to make fun of someone, perhaps Allah loves them and does not love us. Didn't the Mushrikeen make fun of Rasul Allah – sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam – and we know Allah loved him and not them. Didn't the Munaafiqeen make fun of the Sahaabah – and we know Allah loved the Sahaabah and not them.

Rasul Allah – sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam – said,“Verily a person will speak words from those that Allah hates, paying no heed to what he is saying, and with those words he will plummet in to hellfire.” – Bukhari

There are different reasons why a person would want to insult, make fun of and ridicule other community members:

Firstly: They have weak Eemaan and their fear of Allah is poor. This is one of the major reasons.

Secondly: They spend a lot of their time in gatherings that bring no benefit.

Thirdly: They themselves may want others to praise them. Sadly, when there is a student or a community member that insults others, often it is they that want to be the ‘cool' one. How can they be ‘cool' if they are doing something that Allah and His Messenger hate?

Fourthly: They forget the punishment for those that make fun of others. Imam Al-Bayhaqee narrates in Shu'ab al-Eemaan, that Rasul Allah – sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam – said “Verily those people that make fun of people – for them a gate of Jannah will be opened. It will be said to them: Come (and enter). That person will come with all their anguish and depression – but when he gets close, the gate will be closed in his face. Then another gate (to Jannah) will be opened and it will be said: Come (and enter). So that person comes with all his anguish and depression. But when he gets close, the gate will be closed in his face. This will keep happening to him until it gets to the point where it will be said: Come (and enter), and he will not come from the despair of ever entering paradise.” ,

Fifthly: Those that make fun of others may do so out of love for the Kuffaar and a love to imitate them. How many times do we see the comedians mocking people and everyone laughing? Indeed, mocking others and insulting them is a characteristic of Jaahiliyyah and kufr, and it is never a characteristic of a believer.

Allah ta'ala shows us in Surah Al-Mutaffifeen (83/29) how this characteristic of laughing at others is a characteristic of the Kuffaar:

Indeed, those who committed crimes used to laugh at those who believed.

The seriousness of this sin varies in accordance to the subject being insulted:

On the highest level of seriousness is to make fun of Allah or His Ayaat or His Messenger – sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam.

A group of Munaafiqeen started joking one day about their Qurr'aa, i.e. the Companions of Allah's Messenger. They described in ridiculing terms that they were large in stomachs, having lying tongues and being cowardly. Allah ta'ala tells us in the Qur'an (9/65-66) ;And if you ask them, they will surely say, “We were only conversing and playing.” Say, “Is it Allah and His verses and His Messenger that you were mocking?” / Make no excuse; you have disbelieved (i.e. rejected faith) after your belief. If We pardon one faction of you – We will punish another faction because they were criminals.



To ridicule and make fun of the Sahaabah

In the incident just mentioned, the comment that the Munaafiqeen was actually directed at the Sahaabah. The Qur'aan shows us that this was a direct ridicule of Allah, His verses, and His Messenger.

Shaykh Al-Uthaymeen – rahi mahullaah – said: Thus it is understood that someone who curses and ridicules the Companions is a Kaafir. This is because cutting their honor is in reality an attempt at ridiculing Allah and His Messenger and His Sharee'ah.

To ridicule the pious believers

For example, if someone were to ridicule a pious believer because of his practice of the Deen, such as ridiculing a brother's beard or to mock a sisters Hijaab, etc. Doing this – i.e. mocking a Muslim because of his Islam – may very well expel someone from the fold of Islam.

Allah ta'ala says in Surah Al-Mutaffifeen (29-30):

Indeed, those that committed crimes used to laugh at those who believed

As reported in Tafseer At-Tabaree, the Munaafiqeen were once sitting back watching the charity that the believers were giving. To those that gave much, like AbdurRahmaan ibn ‘Owf, they said, ‘he only gave it to show off' , For those that gave little, they said, ‘Verily, Allah has no need for his petty offering.” And so Allah ta'ala revealed in Surat At-Tawbah (9/79):

Those who criticize the contributers among the believers concerning their charities and (criticize) the ones who find nothing (to spend) except their effort, so they ridicule them – Allah will ridicule them, and they will have a painful punishment.

To ridicule humans in general

This applies to the God-fearing and the Fussaaq, a believer should not humiliate people and or use derogatory nicknames for them, nor should they ridicule their creation.

Allah ta'ala says 49/11:

O you who believe let not one group of people make fun of another

And Rasul Allah – sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam – said, “It is enough sin for a person that they would ridicule their Muslim brother.”

Abdullaah ibn Mas'ood – radi Allaahu ‘anhu – used to say, as narrated by Ibn Abee ‘Aasim, “By Allah whom there is no god but He, there is nothing more worthy of a prolonged incarceration then one's tongue.”

Part II

Abu Moosa – radi Allaahu ‘anhu – said: I asked Allah's Messenger, ‘Who out of the Muslims is the best?', He replied “Those whom the other Muslims are safe from his tongue and hands.” – Agreed Upon

The mockingbird, native to the western hemisphere, has a very interesting name. The mockingbird gets its name from its ability to mimic the sounds of other animals. It combines song notes of it's own with sounds from other birds, doing so in almost a mocking way. It is an endangered species, and we hope - in sha Allah – that the mocking it got its name after will become endangered in our communities too.

Al-Hasan Al-Basree – rahimahullaah – said, “Whoever does not guard the slips of their tongue has not understood their Deen.” ,

Dear brothers and sisters, one of the saddest things is to see the regulars of the masjid, or the leaders of the Muslim youth, being the ones who mock others. So many youth groups and Halaqahs around North America are built on this notion that in order to be cool you must ridicule and mock others.

In other places, I know personally people that abandoned the local Masjid because they did not want to be ridiculed by the Muslims. They felt more comfort and compassion in the character of the disbelievers. What will Allah ta'ala think of someone that does this to the Muslims, someone who is an obstacle for others to come closer to Allah?

If we find a gathering of Muslims to be like this, it is our duty to command the good and forbid the evil and demand that this ridiculing stop once and for all.

In conclusion, the questions that begs to be asked is: What is the cure for this disease of the tongue?

One: We should know that it is a major sin. In fact, a person may make a single statement – not paying any heed to it – by which he may slip in to Hellfire.

Two: We should follow what our tongues are saying and not allow ourselves to stoop to vain talk.

Three: We should distance ourselves from those long useless gatherings where nothing is done for hours except laughing and chatting. Instead, we should replace our gatherings with the remembrance of Allah and good speech.

Four: We must glorify this Deen and make enormous in our hearts the commandments of Allah ta'ala. If Allah says do not make fun of one another, our reply should be nothing more then: ‘we hear and we obey'. ‘

Five: We should warn others of the sin of insulting other people and making fun of them. Let us not allow ourselves to be as a silent Shaytaan listening to others being insulted. Let us speak up and say it clearly that this is not something loved by Allah and His Messenger. Say that if Allah and His Messenger hate it, then so do I.

Six: If you feel yourself that you just have to insult someone, ask Allah to protect you from the Shaytaan and this satanic act. As Allah ta'ala says (7/200):And if an evil suggestion comes to you from Satan, then seek refuge in Allah. Indeed, He is Hearing and Knowing.

Seven: And of course, if anyone of us should fall into this sin, we should be swift in turning back to Allah in Towbah. Say Astaghfirullaah wa ‘atoobo ilayh, O Allah I ask You to forgive me and I return to You.

Allah ta'ala says in the Qur'an (49/11):And whoever does not repent – then it is those who are the Dhaalimoon (the wrongdoers).

Finally, if there is one thing that you remember from this khutbah let it be this following commandment of Allaah ta'ala, memorize it and teach it to at least one other person:

O you who believe let not one group of people make fun of another...

By: Sheikh Muhammad Alshareef

Slander

Some people go about repeating the words of others to cause trouble between people; this is one of the greatest causes of broken relations and stirring up feelings of hatred among people. Allaah condemned the one who does this (interpretation of the meaning): "And obey not everyone who swears much, - and is considered worthless, a slanderer, going about with calumnies." [al-Qalam 68:10-11]

Hudhayfah reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "No eavesdropper will enter Paradise." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, see al-Fath, 10/472; "eavesdropper" here refers to a person who eavesdrops on others without their knowing, then goes and tells others what he has heard)

Ibn 'Abbaas said: "The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) passed by one of the gardens of Madeenah, and heard the sound of two people being punished in their graves. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "They are being punished, but they are not being punished for any major sin; one of them used never to clean himself properly after urinating, and the other used to spread malicious slander . . ." (Reported by al-Bukhaari; see Fath al-Baari, 1/317).

One of the worst forms of this sin is to cause trouble between a husband and wife, or vice versa, or to tell one's boss what other employees are saying, in order to create trouble. All of this is haraam..

Hasad (destructive envy)

Hasad (destructive envy) means wishing that a blessing that Allaah has bestowed on the envied person be taken away. Allaah enjoined His Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to seek refuge with Him from the evil of the envier when he envies. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Say: ‘I seek refuge with (Allaah), the Lord of the daybreak,

2. ‘From the evil of what He has created,

3. ‘And from the evil of the darkening (night) as it comes with its darkness; (or the moon as it sets or goes away),

4. ‘And from the evil of those who practise witchcraft when they blow in the knots,

5. ‘And from the evil of the envier when he envies.’”

[al-Falaq 113]

What is meant by “when he envies” is when he manifests what he feels of envy in his heart and acts on it, and his envy makes him do something bad to the one whom he envies.

Hasad is of varying degrees:

1 – When a person wants the blessing to be taken away from his Muslim brother, even if it does not come to him; rather he does not like Allaah to bless anyone else and that upsets him.

2 – Where he wants the blessing to be taken away from someone else because he wants it, in the hope that it will come to him.

3 – Where he wishes for himself a blessing like that which someone else has, without wanting it to be taken away from the other person. This is permissible and is not called hasad rather it is called ghibtah.

The envier harms himself in three ways:

1 – He earns sin because hasad is haraam.

2 – It is bad etiquette before Allaah, because what hasad really means is hating Allaah’s blessing His slaves, and objecting to what Allaah does.

3 – He suffers because of too much worry and distress.

Short temper

A person may complain: “I get very angry very quickly. If there is the slightest provocation, I quickly explode and start to break things, swear, curse and issue threats of divorce. This problem has caused me so much embarrassment, and has made most people hate me, even my wife and children and closest friends. What can I do to rid myself of this awful disease and extinguish this devilish fire?”

Anger is a tendency that comes from the Shaytaan. Only Allaah knows how much evil and sin results from it. Hence Islam has a great deal to say about this negative characteristic and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) described remedies for ridding oneself of this problem and limiting its effects. These include the following:

Seeking refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan. Sulaymaan ibn Sard said: “I was sitting with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and there were two men swearing at one another. One of them was red in the face and the veins of his neck were standing out. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘I know a word which, if only he would say it, this [anger] would leave him. If he said, “A’oodhu billaahi min al-shaytaan (I seek refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan),”, this [anger] would leave him.’” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 6/377). He (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) also said: “If a man gets angry and says ‘A’oodhu billaah (I seek refuge with Allaah),’ his anger will cease.” (Saheeh al-Jaami’ al-Sagheer, no. 695).

Keeping quiet. The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If any one of you gets angry, let him keep quiet.” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, al-Musnad, 1/239; Saheeh al-Jaami’, 693, 4027). Anger usually makes a person lose control, often to the extent that he may utter words of kufr (Allaah forbid), or curses, or the word of divorce (talaaq) which will destroy his family, or foul language that will earn him the enmity of others. Keeping quiet is the way to avoid all of these evils.

Keeping still. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If any one of you gets angry, let him sit down if he is standing. If his anger goes away, (that is good), otherwise let him lie down.”

The narrator of this hadeeth was Abu Dharr (may Allaah be pleased with him), who told the following story: he was watering his animals at a trough, when some other people came along. He said, “Who among you will help Abu Dharr to water his animals and ....?” A man said, “I will,” but he broke the trough. Abu Dharr was standing, so he sat down, then he lay down. Someone asked him, “O Abu Dharr, why did you sit down then lie down?” He said, “Because the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said … [and quoted the hadeeth].” (The hadeeth with the whole story is reported in Musnad Ahmad, 5/152. See also Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 694).

According to another report, Abu Dharr was watering his animals at a trough when another man made him angry, so he sat down… (Fayd al-Qadeer al-Mannaawi, 1/408).

One of the benefits of this Prophetic teaching is that it prevents the angry person from doing something crazy and out of control. An angry person could inflict harm or even kill – as we shall see shortly – or he could destroy property and so on. Sitting down makes it less likely that he will explode in this fashion, and lying down makes it even less likely that he will do something reckless or harmful. Al-‘Allaamah al-Khattaabi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his commentary on Abu Dawood: “The one who is standing is ready to move and destroy things. The one who is sitting is less likely to do so, and the one who is lying is not able to do anything of the sort. It seems that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded the angry person to sit down or lie down in order to prevent him from doing anything that he would later regret. And Allaah knows best.” (Sunan Abi Dawood wa ma’ahu ma’aalim al-sunan, 5/141)

Remembering the advice of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported that a man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: “Advise me.” He said: “Do not become angry.” The man repeated his request several times, and each time the response was, “Do not become angry.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath al-Baari, 10/465).

According to another report, the man said, “I thought about what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) had said, and I realized that anger is the source of all evil.” (Musnad Ahmad, 5/373).

“Do not get angry, and Paradise will be yours.” (A saheeh hadeeth. Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7374. Ibn Hajar attributed it

Good conduct ensures peace, harmony in society at large

The Noble Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) has enjoined the believers to be always good to others, to animals as well as to fellow beings, particularly to the fellow believers.

His teachings of love and fraternity go a long way to ensure peace in every sphere of life. Let us see some of his teachings reported in Bukhari.

Anas Bin Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) relates that Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said, “Help your brother, whether he is an oppressor or he is an oppressed one.” People asked, “Allah’s Messenger! It is all right to help him if he is oppressed, but why should we help him if he is an oppressor?” The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said, “By preventing him from oppressing others.”

Abdullah Bin ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) relates that Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said, “A Muslim is a brother of another Muslim, so he should not oppress him, nor should he hand him over to an oppressor. Whoever fulfilled the needs of his brother, Allah will fulfil his needs; whoever brings his brother out of the discomfort, Allah will bring him out of the discomforts of the Day of Resurrection, and whoever screened a Muslim, Allah will screen him on the Day of Resurrection.”

Mu’awia Bin Suwaid relates: I heard Al-Bara’ Bin ‘Azib (may Allah be pleased with him) saying, “The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) ordered us to do seven things and prohibited us from doing seven other things.” Then Al-Bara’ mentioned the following:-

(1)To pay a visit to the sick (enquiring about his health),

(2)To follow funeral processions,

(3)To say to a sneezer, “May Allah be merciful to you” (if he says, “praise be to Allah”),

(4)To return the greetings,

(5)To help the oppressed,

(6)To accept invitations, and

(7)To help others to fulfil their oath.

10 Lessons Ibn Al-Mubarak taught us

Abdullah Bin Al-Mubarak was a scholar known for simultaneously combining numerous traits of virtue. In fact, his friends would sit and count all of the good things that were part of his character and personality. Reading through his life story, one cannot help but derive brief yet heavy lessons from how this man lived:



1- No matter how bad you think you are, you can always become better.

In Tartib Al-Madarik (1/159), Al-Qadi ‘Iyad mentioned that Ibn Al-Mubarak was asked about the circumstances in which he began studying. He replied: “I was a youth who drank wine and loved music and singing while engaging in these filthy acts.

So, I gathered some friends to one of my gardens where there were sweet apples, and we ate and drank until we passed out while drunk. At the end of the night, I woke up and picked up the stringed oud and began singing: Isn’t it time that you had mercy on me; and we rebel against those who criticize us?

“And I was unable to pronounce the words as I intended. When I tried again, the oud began speaking to me as if it were a person, saying the verse: ‘Isn’t it time for the hearts of those who believe to be affected by Allah’s reminder?’ (Qur’an, al-Hadid:16) So, I said: ‘Yes, O Lord!’ And I smashed the oud, spilled the wine, and my repentance with all its realities came by the grace of Allah, and I turned towards knowledge and worship.”



2 – Associate with honorable people.

In Sifat As-Safwah (2/323), Ibn Al-Jawzi mentioned: “Ibn Al-Mubarak’s home in Marw was vast. It measured 50 square yards. There was no person known for knowledge, worship, manhood, or high status in Marw except that you saw him in this house.”



3 – Be a helpful guest.

In Sifat As-Safwah (2/324), it is narrated that when An-Nadr Bin Muhammad’s son got married, he invited Ibn Al-Mubarak, “and when he arrived, Ibn Al-Mubarak got up to serve the guests. An-Nadr did not permit him and swore that he would tell him to leave until Ibn Al-Mubarak finally sat down.”



4 – Give money to the poor.

In Sifat As-Safwah (2/327), Ibn Al-Jawzi mentions that Ibn Al-Mubarak “would spend a 100,000 dirhams a year on the poor.”



5 – Return the borrowed items to their owners.

In Sifat As-Safwah (2/329), Al-Hasan Bin Arafah said that Abdullah Bin Al-Mubarak told him: “I borrowed a pen from someone in Sham, and I intended to return it to its owner. When I arrived in Marw (in Turkmenistan!), I saw that I still had it with me. Abu Ali (Al-Hasan’s kunyah), I went all the way back to Sham to return the pen to its owner!”



6 – Be brave, and hide your good deeds.

In Sifat As-Safwah (2/329), Abdah Bin Sulayman said: “We were on an expedition in the lands of the Romans with Abdullah Bin Al-Mubarak. When the two armies met, a man came out from their side calling for a duel. One of our men went out to him and dueled with him for an hour, injuring him and killing him. Another came out, and he killed him. He called for another duel, and another man came out. They dueled for an hour, and he injured and killed him as well. The people gathered around this man, and I was with them, and saw that he was covering his face with his sleeve. I took the edge of his sleeve and pulled it away to find that it was Abdullah Bin Al-Mubarak,” and in the version reported by Adh-Dhahabi, he made him swear not to reveal his identity until the day he died.



7 – Have a tender heart.

In Sifat As-Safwah (2/330), Al-Qasim Bin Muhammad said: “We were on a journey with Ibn Al-Mubarak, and I was always asking myself: what is so special about this man that he is so famous? If he prays, so do we. If he fasts, so do we. If he fights, so do we. If he makes Haj, so do we.

“One night, we spent the night in a house traveling on the way to Sham. The lamp went out, and some of us woke up. So, he took the lamp outside to light it, and stayed outside for a while. When he came back in with the lamp, I caught a glimpse of Ibn Al-Mubarak’s face, and saw that his beard was wet with his tears. I said to myself: “This fear of Allah is what has made this man better than us. When the lamp went out and we were in darkness, he remembered the Day of Resurrection.””



8 – Be generous to your friends.

In Sifat As-Safwah (2/329), Isma’il Bin Ayyash said: “I don’t know of a single good trait except that Allah has placed it in Abdullah Bin Al-Mubarak. My friends told me that they were traveling with him from Egypt to Makkah, and he was serving them khabis (a sweet flour dish) while he was fasting the entire trip.”



9 – Don’t give in to Satan’s whispers.

In Tartib Al-Madarik (1/159), it is related that Ibn Al-Mubarak was making ablution, and Satan came to him and said: “You did not wipe over this part of your body.” Ibn Al-Mubarak said: “I did.” Satan said: “No, you didn’t.” So, Ibn Al-Mubarak said: “You are the one making the claim, and you must therefore bring proof to back the claim up.”



10 – Sincerely pray for people.

In Tartib Al-Madarik (1/162), it is related that Al-Hasan Bin Isa Bin Sirjis would walk by Ibn Al-Mubarak, and he was a Christian. Ibn Al-Mubarak asked who he was, and was told: “He is a Christian.” So, Ibn Al-Mubarak said: “O Allah, grant him Islam.” So, Allah answered his supplication and Al-Hasan became an excellent Muslim, and he traveled to seek knowledge and became one of the scholars of the Ummah.”

The Answer to the Uneducated is Silence

Some people remain ill-mannered. hot-tempered and lewd-talkers for the whole of their lives. Their faith and belief are not at all disturbed by these evils, nor does their morality admonish them on their attitude. They have no hesitation in telling others things which are disagreeable to them. Whenever they find a suitable field to let off their steam, their tongues run away with vulgar and obscene talks like rein less steeds. No cries stop them nor does any voice inhibit them.

The attitude of a gentleman with such people should, be that he should not engage himself in any discussion with them, because any provocation would lead to great disturbance, and it is necessary to seal this source or trouble. For this reason Islam has commanded to ignore the foolish and unwise people.

Once one of these illiterate persons stood at the door of the Prophet's house with a view to entering it. The kind Prophet treated him very decently and managed to persuade him to go away. There was no other go besides this, for tolerance and forbearance is the cloth by which the uneducated and the fool can be gagged. Had the Prophet allowed him to do whatever he intended to do, then he would have had to hear all the drivel and the rubbish talk from which his ears thus remained safe.

Hazrat Ayesha says that one man sought the Prophet's permission to enter the house, and the Prophet remarked: "What a bad man is he of his family !" When he came in, the Prophet talked to him pleasantly and softly. After he went away, she asked him 'O Messenger of Allah! You heard this man talking in this way, yet there was no sign of perturbation on your face, on the contrary you talked to him pleasantly ?” The Prophet replied: "O Ayesha ! when did you hear me talking vulgarly? On the Day of Judgment before Allah the worst man would be the one for avoiding whose vulgar talk people stopped meeting him,"
(Bukhari)

This policy is such that its truth is borne out by our daily experiences, for how can a man like that could tarnish his good manners by hobnobbing with a bad mannered person? If he starts teaching manners to every uneducated and foolish person, then his life will become a bundle of troubles, For this reason, the holy Quran, while listing the qualities of Allah's slaves, has first mentioned this tolerance of theirs:

"And the slaves of (Allah) Most Gracious are those who walk on the earth in humility, and when the ignorant address them, they say.. 'Salam." {Peace)",
(AI-Furqan.. 63)

Man swallows his anger once, twice, but later on he bursts.

But a well-behaved Muslim is expected by Islam to tolerate more troubles and adversities, so that consequently the evil should not be able to stand firmly on its ground.

Sa'eed bin Musayyeb says: "When the Prophet was sitting with his companions one person used insulting words against Hazrat Abu Bakr, causing him pain, but Abu Bakr was silent, For the second time also he used the bitter words against him, and still Abu Bakr was silent. When for the third time he hurt him with his tongue, Abu Bakr tried to answer him, The Messenger of Allah got up. Abu Bakr asked him: 'Are you displeased with me, O Messenger of Allah ?' The Prophet replied: 'No, but from the heaven an angel had come down and he was denying that man's talk, and when you started to answer that man, the angel went away and the devil sat down. And I cannot sit where the devil is sitting"
(Abu Daud)

To pay respect to the foolish and unintelligent people does not mean that their low and superficial acts should also be accepted. In these two conditions there is a very great difference.

The first thing means that man should have control over his self in the presence of folly and unintelligence, and he should not give them a chance to show their true I nature which is the bearer of anger and wrath, and be provoked to take revenge.

While the second aspect has quite the contrary sense.

In that condition it amounts to allow the self to submit to folly, meanness and disrepute, and to accept those low things which no wise and decent man would be ready to accept.

The holy Quran has treated the subject of respect to ! the unintelligent people and the hatred of their low and mean acts in this manner :

“ Allah does not like that evil should be noised t abroad in public speech, except where injustice ha; been done; for Allah is He Who hears and knows all things. Whether you express a good deed or conceal it or cover evil with pardon, verily Allah does blot out (sins) and has power (in the judgment of values)"
( An-Nissa.. 148-149)

Staying single

Q. Is it true that marriage constitutes one half of our faith? How about people who do not get the opportunity to get married? I have an aunt who never got married simply because the offers of marriage she received when she was young did not meet her expectations. She did not feel that she would be comfortable with anyone. Does this mean that she is at fault from the Islamic point of view?


- Answered by: Adil Salahi
A. Nothing in the Quran or the Hadith speaks of marriage as constituting one half of our religion. Yet this notion is commonly held throughout the Muslim world. Wherever you go in Muslim countries you hear it as an accepted fact. So, where does it come from?

One Hadith reported by Anas ibn Malik quotes the Prophet (peace be upon him) as saying: “When God grants someone a good wife, then He has helped him with one half of his religion. Let him remain God-fearing in attending to the other half.” (Related by Al-Tabarni and Al-Hakim.) When you carefully examine the wording of this Hadith you realize that it gives a totally different concept from the common notion. It does not speak of marriage as a concept, institution, or common practice. It speaks of a good wife, which means one who is devout, loving, attends to her duties and takes good care of her family and home. Yet having such a wife is not half the religion. According to the Hadith, she represents God’s help in attending to one half of the religion. She helps her husband in steering away from what is forbidden and in doing his Islamic duties. Such help is invaluable in following God’s commandments and resisting the temptation of sinful practices. Therefore, the Prophet urges a person who has received God’s help in the form of a good and devout wife to remain God-fearing in the other half, i.e. where his wife has no influence on his actions and behavior.

Some people, however, go through life without ever getting married. Are they lesser Muslims? Certainly not. Yet they are at a disadvantage because they do not have the help that a good wife represents. Moreover, they do not have the opportunities that marriage provides to earn more reward from God. For example, when you take good care of your wife and children, work hard to provide them with good living and good education, you receive rich reward from God. If you are unmarried, you lose this opportunity. If your wife or husband is ill and you take care of them until they have recovered, you earn good reward. If you bring up your children as good Muslims, implanting in their minds the values Islam is keen to nurture in Islamic society, you are doing your duty for which God rewards you generously.

Needless to say, people who remain celibate have more free time which they can use in a variety of ways to earn God’s reward. Yet they may find it more difficult to resist the temptation of sin. However, the fact that they remain celibate does not mean that they are lesser Muslims. Over the centuries, there were some highly renowned scholars who did not have the chance to get married. The most notable of these was Ibn Taymiyyah. He ranks with the top scholars throughout Islamic history. Some contemporary scholars point out that because Ibn Taymiyyah never got married, some of his rulings, or fatwas, concerning women did not have the same standard of scholarly insight as his fatwas in other areas.

Having said that, I would like to add that Islam urges all Muslims to marry. Several Quranic verses and Hadiths make clear that marriage is the proper status for Muslims, as it helps them to remain God-fearing, steering away from sin. To quote just one Hadith, the Prophet says: “This life is mere enjoyment, but the best that is enjoyable in it is a good wife.” (Related by Muslim).

To sum up, a person who goes through life without getting married is not a lesser Muslim simply because of remaining celibate, but marriage is an important institution that helps a Muslim to lead a proper Islamic life.

Fatwas on Fear of Allah / Wealth before Children / Bad Dreams

1)Fear of Allah

Q- What is the meaning of the verse: “It is only those who have knowledge among His servants that fear Allah.” (Qur’an, 35:28)

A – What this noble verse means is that only the scholars completely fear Allah Almighty – but scholars of what? This verse is speaking of those who have knowledge of Allah Almighty, of His Shariah, and of His verses, and not those who have technical or scientific knowledge. Only scholars of religion, who know Allah’s verses, can fear Allah Almighty as He deserves to be feared and worship Him as He deserves to be worshipped, as opposed to an ignorant person who knows nothing about Allah Almighty. Such a person does not fear Him. The more a person has knowledge of Allah Almighty, the more will he fear Him, and the more upright will he be in his application of the religion.

– Sheikh Muhammad Bin Saleh Al-Uthaymeen; Fatawa Islamiyah, vol. 7, pg. 146



2) Why does Allah Almighty mention wealth before children?

Q- In the Qur’an, why is wealth always mentioned before children, despite children being worth more to a father than his wealth? And what is the wisdom behind this?

A – This is because wealth helps one to fulfill unlawful desires. The temptations of wealth are greater. Although a person may be tried with regard to children, and he may disobey Allah because of them, but the temptations from wealth are more and worse. Allah says: “And it is not your wealth, nor your children that bring you nearer to Us (i.e. pleases Allah). (Qur’an, 34:37)

He also said: “Your wealth and your children are only a trial.” (Qur’an, 64:15)

And: “Let not your properties or your children divert you from the remembrance of Allah.” (Qur’an, 63:9)

– Sheikh Abdul Aziz Bin Baz; Fatawa Islamiyah, vol. 7, pg. 105



3) Bad dreams

Q- I often dream about white rice, please tell me the interpretation of this?

A – I dont know the interpretation of the dream. However, because of the many questions (people ask) about dreams, I do wish to say to my brothers that the Prophet (peace be upon) taught us what to do when we have a bad dream.

We should seek refuge with Allah three times from the cursed Shaytan, spit three times to our left, and say:

“Secret counsels (conspiracies) are only from Shaytan, in order that he may cause grief to the believers. But he cannot harm them in the least, except as Allah permits.” (Qur’an, 58:10)

He should not tell anyone about it, and turn from the side he was sleeping on to the other side. If he stands, performs ablution, and pray two units of prayer, this is even better. If we follow these instructions from the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) bad dreams will not harm us no matter how terrifying they may be.

– Sheikh Muhammad Bin Saleh Al-Uthaymeen; Fatawa Islamiyah, vol. 8, pg. 132

Are you jealous of what others have?

Hasad (jealousy and envy) is among the most destructive emotions which a man may develop toward his fellow human being. With Hasad, a person will wish evil for others and will be happy when misfortune befalls them. The Prophet (peace be upon him) warned against envy by comparing it to fire that completely burns the wood. He (peace be upon him) said: “Beware of jealousy, for verily it destroys good deeds the way fire destroys wood.” (Abu Dawood)

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “There has come to you the disease of the nations before you, jealousy and hatred. This is the ‘shaver’ (destroyer); I do not say that it shaves hair, but that it shaves (destroys) faith…” (Al-Tirmidhi, No. 2434)

Hasad can take a person into disbelief because he may conclude that Allah has not been fair with him, while Allah is the Most Just. The person may forget all of Allah’s mercy and blessings bestowed upon him. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: “They are enemies of Allah’s bounties.” When asked, “Who are they?”, he replied: “Those who envy people for what Allah has given them of Bounty.” (At-Tabarani)

Allah through His Absolute Wisdom gave some people more wealth, intelligence, beauty, strength, and children than others. Discontentment comes from the slave’s ignorance of his Lord. If he recognizes his Lord with the attributes of Perfection, he would not be discontent and as a result would not develop Hasad. A believing Muslim should be content with what Allah has destined for him. Imam Ibn Qayyim said: “It (contentment) opens the door of peace and security for the slave.”

“Allah favored some of you over others with wealth and properties… Do they deny the favors of Allah?” (Qur’an, 16:71)

"Do they envy men for what Allah has given them of His Bounty?” (Qur’an, 4:54)

“It is We Who portion out between them their livelihood in this world, and We raised some of them above others in ranks, so that some may employ others in their work. But the mercy of your Lord is better.” (Qur’an, 43:32) This means that the mercy of Allah is better than the convenience of the world. Material things of this life do not make one superior over another. True superiority lies in Taqwa (righteousness and fear of Allah).

Allah said: “Surely, the most noble of you to Allah is the most God-fearing.” (Qur’an, 49:13)

“And the Hereafter with Your Lord is (only) for those who have Taqwa.” (Qur’an, 43:35)

What belongs to the transient world is of no significance at all before Allah. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “If this world were worth a mosquito’s wing before Allah, He would not give a disbeliever a drink of water.” (Al-Tirmidhi)

In order to discourage envy, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Do not look to those above you. Look to those below you, as it will more likely remind you of Allah’s favors bestowed on you.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

On another occasion, he said: “If one of you looks at someone wealthier and better built than him, he should also look at someone of lower standard than himself.” (Sahih Muslim)



Good envy

What Islam permits in contrast to Hasad (destructive jealousy) is Ghibtah (envy that is free from malice). It means that a person neither wishes for misfortune to fall on others nor does he hate the blessings with them. He desires for similar blessings without having any ill-feeling toward others.

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: “Envy is allowed in two cases: a man whom Allah has given the Qur’an and who recites it throughout night and day; and a man on whom Allah has bestowed wealth who gives it away night and day.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

The Prophet (peace be upon him) also explained what is allowed to be said: “I wish I were given what he was given and did with it what he did.”

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: “The similitude of the people of this Ummah is like that of four individuals. One whom Allah has given wealth and knowledge, so he handles his wealth with knowledge.

One whom Allah has given knowledge but not wealth, and he says, ‘Lord, should I have wealth like so-and-so, I would have handled it like him.’ So they both have the same reward. Such a person loves to have wealth like others so he can do good like others without wishing that others lose their wealth.

“Another man whom Allah gave wealth but no knowledge spends it in disobedience to Allah. And last, a man whom Allah has not given knowledge or wealth but who says, ‘Should I have wealth like so-and-so, I would spend it in the way he does.’ So, both will have the same sin against them.” (Al-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah)

Hide good deeds, just as you hide bad deeds

Ikhlas (Sincerity) is probably the most difficult of all actions in Islam. Sincerity in seeking Allah’s pleasure alone in all our deeds requires a high-level of consciousness of our Creator that must be consistent over time. More often than not, we fall into the problem of Riya (showoff), where our deeds are really for the sake of people than for the sake of Allah.

Sheikh Abdul Malik Ar-Ramadani mentions some narrations on this subject from the righteous people of the past in his book Sittu Durar:

Ikhlas is “when the servant’s internal and external actions are the same. And Riya is when the external actions are better than the internal actions (of the heart). Truthfulness in one’s sincerity is when the internal is better (developed) than the external.” (Madarij-us-Salikeen, 2/91)

Bilal Bin Sa’d said, “Do not be a wali (friend) of Allah outwardly, yet an enemy to Him internally.” (Ahmad in Az-Zuhd, Abu Nu’aym in Al-Hilyah)

It has been stated, “Ikhlas is that you do not request anyone to witness your action except Allah, and that you do not seek anyone to reward you (for it) except Him.”

Salamah Bin Dinar said, “Hide your good deeds (from the people) just like you hide your evil deeds”. (Abu Nu’aym, Bayhaqi) And in a narration in Al-Bayhaqi, “Hide your good deed like you hide your evil deed, and do not be delighted at your own action, for you do not know whether you are happy or wretched (in the Hereafter).”

It has been stated in definition of Ikhlas, “It is to single out Allah in one’s intention (qasd) in one’s obedience (to Him).”

Hammad Bin Zaid said, “I used to walk with Ayyoob (As-Sakhtiyani) and he would take me through different routes. I would be surprised at how he would guide himself through them, fleeing from (being seen by) the people who might say, ‘This is Ayyoob.’”

He also said, “Ayyoob used to take me via a route that was the longest and I would say “But this one is closer.” He would reply, “I fear (passing by these) gatherings.” When he would pass by them and give salams, they would reply to him with more than what (they would do for) others. So he would say, ‘O Allah, you know that I did not desire this! O Allah, you know that I did not desire this.’” (Ibn Sa’d, Al-Fasawi)

Abu Zur’ah Bin Abi Amr said, “Ad-Dahhak Bin Qays came out and made the prayer for rain with the people, but they were not granted rain, and nor did they see any clouds come. Ad-Dahhak said, “Where is Yazeed Bin Al-Aswad?” (And in a narration, “But nobody answered him!”. He then said again, “Where is Yazeed Bin Al-Aswad Al-Jurashee?” And I was insistent on calling him that if he was to hear my words he would get up.)

“Here I am,” he said. So (Ad-Dahhak) said, “Stand and intercede with Allah on our behalf, that he should grant us rain.” So Yazeed stood up, made his face pointed in the direction of his feet, and made his head sink into his shoulders (out of humility). He then said, “O Allah, these servants of yours sought intercession through me from You.

So he had not called upon Allah three times except that the people were granted rain in such abundance that they almost drowned on account of it.

Then Yazeed said, “O Allah, this one made a show of me (i.e. Ad-Dahhak, by asking him and calling him out), so grant me freedom from this (fame).”

Yazeed did not live except for the next Jumuah.